


all of us, intertwined

by VictoriaGrimes



Series: all of us, intertwined [3]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Beautiful Golden Fools, F/M, Fix-It, Pregnancy, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24775198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoriaGrimes/pseuds/VictoriaGrimes
Summary: Little glimpses of Jaime and Cersei's life in Pentos.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister
Series: all of us, intertwined [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791727
Comments: 41
Kudos: 70





	1. for the little things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello loves! Never say two without three, right?
> 
> Last time I said I'll probably turn these fics into a series because I have tons of ideas so here we go: a little collection of one-shots of Jaime and Cersei's life in Pentos. They won't be in chronological order and despite being all connected, they can be read individually. So if you want to skip one, you can. I just thought it would be less messy if they were all under the same page. I'll also try to post one per month but that's a wishful thinking since I'm such a slooow writer.
> 
> Anyway, that one is something I had in mind for months and I really wanted to write it, hope you'll enjoy. <3
> 
> And again, thank you so much to Jules aka **@lannisqueen** for proofreading it, giving time to comment and supporting me. Love you! And if you haven't read her fanfics yet, you should. It's [**here**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannisqueen/pseuds/lannisqueen)!

As her hands dipped in the basin of foamy water to grab the bowl she was supposed to be cleaning, Cersei closed her eyes for a second at the feeling of Jaime's presence behind her. She inched closer to her twin, enjoying the comfort of his chest pressed against her back, and her lips curled up in a slight smirk.

It had become such a habit over the past year, Jaime's arm around her waist while she would do something so common, so mundane. She could voice her displeasure about having to do the chores fit for a servant and yet… Yet, this new life meant she could call him her husband, meant she could relish on his warmth wrapped all around her, the sunlight gently brushing their skins through the little cracks of their shutters in the morning or savor the taste of his lips late at night. Pentos meant Jaime could claim their daughter without the fear of having their heads on a spike, meant she could witness Joanna beaming at him when he came back from his work. Pentos was the promise of a much simpler life, made of Jaime's tender touches and Joanna's sweet laugh. At the end of the day, all those little sacrifices and thankless chores seemed such a small price to pay when they were still breathing, alive and well.

Her brother planted a kiss at the top of her head, stirring her out of her thoughts. "Want my help?" he asked.

"No, you're terrible at it," Cersei reminded him. He had broken too many of their dishes already. "And at cooking." And burnt too many of their meals too, much to her despair. His help was useless.

Jaime snorted before burying his face in the crook of her neck. He exhaled her scent, his breath hot against her skin, and Cersei sighed. The focus she previously had on her task slowly fainted as Jaime's lips trailed hungry kisses behind her ear. "I'm good at other things," he whispered.

Jaime tightened his embrace around her, pulling her body further to his, and this time, it was Cersei's turn to bark a laugh, fully knowing what her brother implied here. She tilted her head to cast him a soft glance.

"I'm sure you could show me what things you are good at after," she teased, cocking an eyebrow.

She pressed a brief kiss on his lips, and pleased with her answer, Jaime's eyes crinkled at the corners. She shivered. Even after a lifetime together, that broad, arrogant smile splayed all across his face still made her knees go weak.

A sudden thud followed by a joyful cry behind them burst their bubble. They both turned around, Jaime's arm still firm around her waist, to find the cubes their daughter was piling up some minutes ago discarded all around the place now. Although, Joanna did not seem to care. On the contrary, sitting on her woolen blanket in the middle of the kitchen, she clapped her hands, delighted by her own doing. 

Joanna promptly grabbed a block to put it on the top of another, and Cersei knew her daughter was already planning to build another pile out of them, and when she would grow tired of it, she would topple the whole thing away. And then repeat the process again. And again. She had seen her doing it enough times already. And when Joanna wasn't interested in destroying her own sculptures, she would inspect the toys, her mouth sweetly gasping in awe while the tip of her index would trace the outline of the different sign carved on each face, trying to decipher the meaning of it. Since they caught her attention on the market some days ago, her fascination for those wooden, colorful and expensive toys hadn't faded, to the point she even forgot about her favorite doll. Cersei had to admit she was thankful for the gold Tyrion sent them. If not, they probably wouldn't have been able to afford her that lavish comfort. 

"You made quite a mess here," Jaime commented, beyond amused.

Joanna looked up. She flashed them a smile big enough to reveal the row made of three little pearls that had recently peaked through the top of her mouth, and giggled. Their daughter seized another block between her tiny fingers. She stared at it, wonder written all over her face, and a small grin danced on Cersei's lips. She would never get tired to see her little girl's perfect features shine with enchantment as she would discover something new.

Joanna directed her attention back to them. "Pa-pa," she babbled. She stretched her arm out toward her father to show him the wooden cube she was holding, its letters painted in vibrant red, and waved her hand.

"Someone wants you to play with her," Cersei informed him.

"Can't refuse her anything," he replied. _Oh, she knew._ A faint kiss on her cheek, and Jaime released his hold on her body.

Joanna's eyes sparkled as she watched her father approaching her. Jaime swiftly sat on the floor next to her and grabbed the toy she was offering. She mumbled some unintelligible words and with careful moves, he placed it on the pile she had already started. Joanna squirmed. A soft cackle escaped her lips, and Jaime bent over to peck the golden crown of curls at the top of her head. Cersei's smile grew wider. 

Yes, Pentos was worth it. For this. For all those quiet moments of happiness they could grasp.

She returned back to her chore, hoping she could finish and join Jaime and Joanna soon. She listened to their playful babbles, and had to resist the urge to laugh when Jaime tried to teach their daughter how to spell her name.

"Maybe it's time to go to bed, don't you think, sweetling?" Jaime suggested after some time, but he only met Joanna's vivid protest. Of course, she wouldn't. Since she understood the meaning of the word "No", it was how she replied to almost every order they gave her. Jaime chuckled. "I knew you would say that."

Cersei jolted at the sound of the toys falling on the floor once more, and the bowl between her hands almost slipped from her grip.

"Oh," her brother softly gasped.

She furrowed her brows for a fraction of second, but quickly dismissed the worry away. Nothing he couldn't handle.

"Cersei," Jaime called. "Cersei." The excitement in her twin's voice raised her curiosity, and she abandoned the towel she was using to wipe the dishes on the counter. "Cersei, look at Joanna," he said as she spun on her heels.

Her eyes drifted from Jaime's grinning face to Joanna and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of their daughter moving one unsure foot in front of the other toward her. 

_Her first steps._

Cersei couldn't say she was surprised. She had knew it would happen soon since Joanna had been holding on to a chair or any piece of furniture she could find to help her stand on her short legs for quite some time now. Yet, she had never tried to walk all by herself before, and Cersei's eyes widened in amazement.

Joanna took another frail step, Jaime's good hand hovering behind her back, ready to catch her if she fell, and Cersei couldn't help but think how he had never been more protective since they settled here. Of Joanna. Of her. 

Their daughter lifted her chin, hesitant on her next move. "Ma," she cooed.

"Yes, my little love," Cersei murmured, sinking on her knees. "Come to see me?" she invited with a small wave of her hands.

Joanna eyed her father and Jaime nodded. "Go see Mama," he encouraged.

It was enough to give her the courage to keep going. She waddled forward. One step. Two steps… Joanna tittered as she grew more confident and her legs bolder. 

Cersei's heart melted, proud tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. Seeing her little cubs trying to walk for the first time had always been special, and the old memories of Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen making their own first steps around the same age rushed back in her mind. She remembered Joffrey being too stubborn to even try. Myrcella's delicate footsteps. Tommen being scared. Cersei could catch a glimpse of each of them in Joanna sometimes and yet, out of all their children, she was the one who looked the most like Jaime. 

Her brother's ecstatic gaze mirrored her own. This time, she could share that moment with him, and she knew he felt the same joy, mingled with the heartache that their daughter was already slowly slipping away from them.

Joanna extended her arms, ready to throw herself in Cersei's comforting warmth, but too soon, unsteadiness gained her bare feet back. She faltered and before Cersei had the time to pick her, Joanna fell on all fours. 

A shiver ran down her spine. Cersei froze, fear taking her breath away until Joanna's upset roar filled their house, and relief washed over her. A cry was better than silence. Silence would mean another heart-wrenching crack in her chest that time would never be able to mend, and Jaime's words from the day Joanna was born as Cersei reached to scoop their daughter in her arms flooded her mind. " _Our baby is going to live_."

Joanna's cheeks turned red and angry tears dripped down her fiery emeralds.

"It's okay," she reassured while Jaime wrapped his arm around her in a strong embrace, allowing the three of them to become one. Joanna snuggled against her. She bawled harder, tears dampening the linen fabric of Cersei's dress, but Cersei couldn't care less. She tightened her grasp. "I got you, I got you," she whispered and peppered solid, soothing kisses on her little girl's soft curls, rocking her shaking body. "Are you hurt?" she questioned.

Joanna eventually sniffled. She shook her head " _No_ ", and after a quick look, Cersei judged that the thin scratches covering her hands and knees would disappear in a couple of days. She exhaled a sharp breath. They could have been avoided if she fell on her blanket though.

"I think she just got scared," Jaime said, his thumb gently sweeping away the salty pearls on their daughter's face.

"Na," Joanna managed to grumble between two sobs.

"We are proud of you, my love," Cersei praised as she felt the subtle press of her brother's lips against her temple. "You were so brave."

"Very brave," Jaime confirmed. "And you can try again tomorrow." 

Joanna blinked back at them, green eyes filled with frustration, before grabbing her father's hand. "Na," she repeated, and despite her own tears threatening to fall, a small chuckle forced its way past Cersei's throat.

Oh, of course their little lioness needed time to lick her wounds, but it didn't matter. Joanna was also stubborn, and she would try again and again until she knew how to stand on her legs and walk without falling. She wouldn't give up that easily. 

"Good," Cersei breathed. She adjusted her hold on Joanna and dropped a tender blow on her forehead. "So we can keep our baby girl a little longer," she added, meeting her twin's gaze, and Jaime's mouth curled up in a thin approving smile.

Joanna cracked a laugh, meld with her fierce gasps that soon drifted into faint quiet snores, tears and fear all gone, and Jaime bowed to plant a kiss on her tiny fist firmly wrapped around his index.

"She is growing up too fast," he whispered, straightening his back.

Cersei nodded. Her eyes fell upon their daughter. She stared at the soft curves of her face, and Joanna wrinkled her nose, warm daydreams probably dancing behind her fluttering eyelids. Cersei smiled. 

She had spent countless hours during the last year, admiring their little girl and cherishing the feel of her lips anchored on her breast, green eyes locked on each other, or watching her small feet kicking in the air as Cersei would tuck her in her crib. How could she and Jaime have made such another perfect creature? She didn't know, but she hoped their sweet little bundle would never have to learn how the world could be cold and cruel, hoped those tears would be the only ones she would ever shed.

"I wish she could stay like that," she eventually voiced.

She looked back at her brother and Jaime captured her lips. A light kiss, enough to soothe her worries. "She will, my love," he replied as they parted. His words sounded like a promise. Pentos had been one too not so long ago. "She will."

Jaime stiffened his embrace and Cersei laid her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes. They could make that moment last a little longer, the three of them tangled together in that small house close to the shore.


	2. sacred new beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"She is beautiful," Jaime said. He craned his neck to kiss the top of his sister's head. "As her mother."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! I said I'll try to post one chapter per month, well I guess July got its own. Let's hope l'll be able to keep up for the next ones... 
> 
> Again, huge thank you to Jules for proof-reading that chapter, giving me her opinion and helping me as usual. You are the best! And a belated happy birthday to Kylie! 
> 
> As I said those one-shots aren't in chronological order so meet little Joanna for the first time, somehow. Enjoy! <3
> 
> Content Warning : Mention of childbirth and blood [nothing too graphic, but just in case]

The midwife explained she would come back in a few days and if needed, if Cersei showed any signs of fever or other complications, Jaime could fetch her at anytime of the day. Jaime shivered at her words, remembering how the night had been dreadful and scary until the morning came and Cersei's curses and pleads turned into blissful sobs of joy, face red and skin shining with sweat, as their daughter was safely placed between her arms. " _A healthy little girl_ ," the woman had said, and Cersei's delighted chuckle when he whispered to her " _I told you it would be a girl_." lingered in his mind.

"I'm sure your wife will be fine," the midwife reassured him with a kind smile, deep, thin lines framing the corners of her mouth.

Jaime blinked, his eyes heavy, and after thanking her briefly, she left the house, her slender frame disappearing in the daylight sun. He turned around and the sight of the sheets and towels, stuffed in a wicker basket on the table, waiting to be dried, made him wince. Despite the old woman's best efforts to clean them, large faded scarlet strains were still tainting the fabrics. Another reminder of the chaos the night had created, of the fear he wouldn't have been able to protect Cersei if something had gone wrong as her blood drenched the white linens of their bed. But then, Joanna's first, strong cry had shattered his worries and filled him with a dizzy sense of happiness. The sound had been as melodious as Cersei's laugh and made him tear up more than he expected. Jaime grinned at the raw memory, at how the next couple of hours had been flooded with stolen kisses and Cersei's tender smiles, and at how Joanna had wrapped her fingers firmly around his thumb while he and Cersei counted for the thousand time her little toes. 

" _Does this little lady has a name?_ " the midwife had asked shortly after that. One look at each other had been enough for them to know. They had never been able to settle for a name before. None seemed to be the right one. Too short. Too long. And even if their mother's name had always been mentioned during their numerous talks on the matter, they kept dismissing it, too afraid a ghost would hang above their child's head, too afraid it would bring back painful memories. But when they saw her, everything had made sense. A piece of their past, of them, that they would turn into something more hopeful. A better chance. " _Joanna_ ," they replied in unison, and the woman's lips had curled up into a genuine smirk at them. " _Charming, for a charming lady_."

He shook his head. He could take care of the sheets later, he judged as he made his way back to their bedroom. The shift he was supposed to take at noon with the city guard could wait too. 

Cersei's low voice reached his ears. "You are beautiful, my little love," he heard his sister cooing. "One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

He stepped inside, and paused by the door to stare at his sister laying in their bed, her back resting against a mountain of pillows. She was beaming with joy at the little bundle in her arms, a dazzled look on her face as a golden ray of sunshine wrapped both mother and daughter in his embrace, and his smile grew wider. His eyes trailed over Cersei's figure, its curves still soft thanks to the pregnancy, before following the gentle strokes of her fingers on Joanna's cheek. He was pretty sure she hadn't heard him coming back, too busy whispering sweet nothing to their daughter.

 _Their daughter_. His heart missed a beat or two at the thought. No Baratheon, no one else to claim Joanna but him, just as he could claim Cersei as his wife. A new life, as husband and wife, with their child, and for everyone to see. The pipe dream Tyrion had suggested months ago still felt like a lovely illusion sometimes and yet, had never been more real.

Cersei lifted her chin, her hair glowing under the brush of the morning light, and her gaze found his, green pools sparkling with love and exhaustion. "Is she gone?" she asked.

"Yes," he confirmed, and he tiptoed toward the bed to rest besides his twin.

The mattress shifted under his weight, and Jaime wrapped a careful arm around her shoulders, afraid his moves would awake the pain the childbirth had caused to her body, but Cersei didn't flinch and leaned on him. He pressed a light kiss on her lips. A content sigh escaped Cersei's throat as their eyes locked on each other. She smiled, softly, but he noticed how the dark circles under her fiery emeralds contrasted with the paleness of her skin. Jaime frowned and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It had started to grow back those last few months, thicker and longer, while the swell of her belly blossomed with their child. Golden curls almost reaching the middle of her neck now and still a little tousled after the effort she had been through the whole night. 

"How are you feeling?" he wondered.

"Sore," Cersei replied. "But this..." Their eyes drifted to their little bundle, and a thrill of pride rose inside him at the mere image of his child sleeping in the arms of the woman he loved. "It's worth it." 

He nodded, and his hand reached the ivory blanket their daughter was swaddled in to join Cersei's protective fingers, both of them cradling Joanna's chest and drawing sloppy patterns here and here. 

"I can't stop looking at her," Cersei eventually gasped.

He couldn't stop either, and when his eyes weren't on Joanna, they were on Cersei. Or both. "She is beautiful," Jaime said. He craned his neck to kiss the top of his sister's head. "As her mother." 

A low gentle hum left Cersei's lips. She looked back at him, eyebrows raised in expectation. "Want to hold her?" she asked, and his eyes widened at the startling question.

Cersei had been more than reluctant to leave her out of her strong grip when the midwife told them she needed to clean her up. After long minutes of promising her he would stay next to Joanna the whole time and wouldn't let anything happen to her, Jaime finally convinced her to handle their little girl back to the woman. Not without giving her a threatening glare though.

He lowered his gaze on their daughter, " _Yes_ " torn upon his lips, until realization hit him how small and fragile she looked snuggled against his sister's chest. A delicate pink little thing with a wisp of golden hair flying in the morning breeze. And the thought he could hurt her, the scaring thought Joanna could slip from his arms because of his missing hand and he wouldn't be able to catch her told him he should refuse.

Myrcella's sweet face, thin trickles of blood dripping from her nose, and her small coughs as she struggled to fight for her life rushed back in his mind. His throat tightened. The last and only time he had that chance to hold their child, their baby girl died. He couldn't let that happen again, he couldn't… Cersei would never forgive him, and he would never forgive himself if he'd ever hurt Joanna because of his own selfish desire to hold her. Not when he vowed to protect her. She was safe in Cersei's arms, and he could wait until she was older.

Jaime untangled himself from his twin and shook his head. "I…" he started, and waved his stump. "I'm not sure that's…"

"You won't drop her, if that's what you are worried about," she cut with a reassuring voice, and he caught Cersei's eyes, full of trust and love. "I know you won't and I know you want to hold her."

He couldn't deny that, and her confident smile and words were enough to chase the dark thought away. His indecisive "No" turned into a firm "Yes". Cersei's face brightened up at the change of his mind. She shifted on her side and warned "Her head." in a whisper, and Jaime knew, he had seen her doing it so many times before. A bittersweet smile stretched his mouth while Cersei carefully slid their daughter into his good arm, his hold shy at first.

Disturbed by the sudden switch of arms, Joanna squirmed. Her closed tiny fists jolted and her eyelashes fluttered, green eyes flashing him a curious glare before falling back into a peaceful sleep as she knew she was free from any harm here. Jaime swallowed. The shiver of his heart washed away the last shred of sheer nervousness with a kind of love he hadn't imagined possible before. A kind of love different from the one he had for Cersei. Yet, as intense and fierce as it. A kind of love that took his breath away each time his eyes landed on Joanna and was growing stronger and deeper as each second passed by since the moment the midwife put her, bloody and wailing, on Cersei's breast. 

Jaime bowed his head, nuzzling Joanna's little face, his lips pressed on the invisible crease between her brows. Relishing on the subtle scent of the lavender soap the midwife had used to wash her earlier, the same one Cersei was using for herself, a wave of unadulterated joy overwhelmed his senses, and tears pricked at the corner of his closed eyes. 

After a couple of minutes, he eventually raised his chin, a deep exhale leaving his lungs, and Joanna nestled further against him, burying her nose in the crook of his arm. And all the things he had held before, no sword, no amount of gold nor any treasure, nothing compared to this, to the weight of his daughter in his arm. His grasp narrowed, surer. Joanna was his, and Jaime intended to show her everyday how much she had been wanted, how much he and Cersei loved her.

Almost as if they could melt back into one another as they were in the warmth of their mother's womb, Cersei inched closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder, and her fingers danced softly along their daughter's jawline, the three of them now fully fused together. "She is perfect," she murmured.

 _She was._ Even in his restless nights lately, when Cersei was asleep, her cheek on his chest while his hand rubbed her growing belly, Joanna kicking wildly under his fingers to make sure her presence was well known, and he wondered if he would be able soothe her fears as she would grow up, if he would be able to comfort her and make her laugh when she needed it or when he worried about the possibility of failing her, he couldn't picture such a perfect creature. Their two hateful halves mingled into one person, stripped from their flaws. Pure and innocent. 

Jaime glanced at Cersei, only to find her slowly drifting into a well deserved slumber, her breath moving in slow and steady waves. He smiled and planted a kiss on the crown of her disheveled hair before easing their bodies deeper against the pillows, savoring the serene feeling of his wife and his daughter cuddled and asleep against him, and his eyes traveled back to Joanna.

"You're going to be the happiest little girl here," he breathed out loud as he gently rocked her.

They promised they would do better here all those months ago. For them, for Joanna. Jaime knew they would, and more better days would come too. Their house would be filled with fresh memories, with Cersei's sweet laughs and Joanna's fierce babbles, just as his dreams were.

Westeros had been their bitter gilded cage, but Pentos was synonym of a fond new hope, and their decision to run away had never felt more right than today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the song " _Cornelia Street_ " by Taylor Swift. Honestly, we all know I'm a swiftie at this point so no needs to hide it anymore lmao.
> 
> Thanks for reading and have a nice day! <3


	3. my broken bones are mending with all these nights we're spending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The fog of her mind slowly faded, Jaime's subtle hush filling the darkness of their bedroom, and her mouth curled up into a slight smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hello loves! 
> 
> I know I said I wanted to try to update this monthly and I'm sorry that I didn't in the end. I lowkey had the writer block for a time and then, my personal life didn't help, which is why it took me so much time to finish this chapter but, here we are. 
> 
> I wasn't sure if I would ever write Cersei pregnant with Joanna in this fic, even if I have many ideas, but I had this image in mind for a long time, maybe since 7x05 aired and Cersei told Jaime she was pregnant to be honest, and it never left me so I gave it a shot. My perfectionnist brain is not exactly happy about it but... fake it until you make it, right? I still hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> Excuse me for any possible typos left. Take care and see you soon ❤️

Cersei's eyes fluttered open, the last fragments of her dream chased away by Jaime's soft whispers. She relished on the weight of her husband's head nestled on her breast, their bodies still tangled together even in the darkest hours of the night, an arm loosely wrapped around his shoulders, while the little life growing inside her womb kicked boldly under the warmth of his hand. 

_Husband._ She had found the word lingering more and more on her tongue lately, as much as if she was worshipping the new meaning behind it. Devoted gazes and soft touches stretched her days now, instead of cold stares and purple bruises in the morning.

The fog of her mind slowly faded, Jaime's subtle hush filling the darkness of their bedroom, and her mouth curled up into a slight smile. Even her dreams had never tasted as sweet as those kinds of moments. _Peace._ Yes, those moments tasted like peace, and Cersei wished it would never end. 

She pained to decipher his words though, half muffled by the fabric of her nightgown, and at first believed her brother was mumbling some nonsense in his sleep until she noticed how his fingers traveled up and down the curve of her belly, following the constant moves of their child beneath her skin. Jaime sure never missed an opportunity to cradle or plant a kiss on her swelling bump and, as her time was coming nearer and their impatience to welcome their baby grew more palpable each days, they spent too much time cherishing those vivid flutters inside her as if they were the last ones they would ever feel, but talking to their child was something new and Cersei wondered if he had ever done that before without her knowledge.

A light chuckle left her brother's lips at the new kick between her ribs, stronger than the previous ones, vigorous and full of life, almost as if their child found his own way to answer the quiet question. Jaime lowered his face closer to her stomach, and his words became clearer. "Yes, you'll love the sea, of course you will. Your mother and I loved it too when we were children," he mused, and Cersei guessed the small smirk stretching his features as he spoke. He paused for a minute, his hand seeking for the next blow against his touch. "Pentos is not Casterly Rock but it's worth it."

Rocked by the sound of his voice, Cersei closed her eyes. She fancied that vision of their future Jaime was whispering to their child, similar to the one he told her between his labored breaths all those months ago during their attempt to escape King's Landing. His sweet promise to get them out of here, to take them somewhere safe where they would start a new life, had made her feel so secure and hopeful amongst the mist of smoke and chaos the Dragon Queen had unlatched upon them. Yet, she hadn't allowed herself to dream such a fantasy. Not when the castle was crumbling around them, and not when Jaime was bruised and bleeding. But now, away from this inferno and in the comfort and safety of their bed, she could dare to picture it. She wanted to bath a little longer in those enchanting words, and Cersei refrained the need to run up her fingertips along the bare skin of her husband's upper arm, to trace the now-healed rosy scar on his side and draw sloppy patterns here and here, fearing he would interrupt their little conversation if he noted she was awake. 

"You are already very much loved," she heard him say. "Your mother…" Cersei cracked a curious eye open, cocking her eyebrow. "I think you'll realize soon enough how much she loves you. She is slowly losing patience over the blanket she is trying to knit for you." Jaime's half laugh brought a smile upon her lips, but too soon, his amusement faded and his breath hitched. "I'm not sure I'll be good at this, never really done that before,…" he muttered in a more serious tone before pausing again, and Cersei's heart ached a little at the sad truth behind those last five words. "But I'll try my best to make you happy, to keep you safe. I love you, you and your mother, and we can't wait to meet you."

Her smile widened at her brother's confession. She could still remember the spark of surprise and joy that had flashed in his eyes when she told him she was pregnant that day, how Jaime had fucked her so tenderly after that, his kisses gentle between her thighs. And, as they laid in her bed, their bodies twisted between the sheets and shining with sweat, drenched with love and happiness at the idea to have their first chance to be a family together after all those years and the loss of their children, he had asked her to marry him again, his hand lingering on her belly a little longer than usual. She had been tempted to grant his wish this time but, the war coming had forced her to tell him to be patient, to wait until they won, and for that, they needed allies first. She might have been queen regnant, she was still a woman and her hand had still been a coveted prize in order to seal an alliance. As much as her womb. Having to pretend once again, even for a few weeks, another man was the father of their child, had made her realize holding all the power would never truly set her free from this gilded cage. Looking back, she had been foolish to believe so. Another threat, another enemy would have appeared rather sooner than later at their doorstep and someone would have asked for a part of her she reluctantly had to give in order to ensure the safety of their family. It would have happened again and again until their corpses had been laid, rotting and decaying, in the ground. But none of this mattered anymore here. Nothing but them and the child growing inside her. The child Jaime would be able to hold without fear their secret would cost their heads, the child he would be able to finally claim as his own as she promised him that day all those months ago.

Slow, bitter tears started rolling down her cheeks as a sudden wave of regret filled her mind, the overwhelming thought this life could have been their for a long time now if their choices had been different. If she had accepted Ned Stark's proposition to leave Westeros. If they had run away the first time Robert had raised a hand on her. If they had dared to flee in a moment of recklessness when they were still young… _If, if…_ All these chances gone before they could even become a thing. 

A strangled sob she didn't know she was holding slipped through her lips and Jaime whipped his head up, fully aware of her conscious state now. Thin streaks of moonlight coming from the cracks of their shutters dappled his features, silvery lines reflecting his glowing eyes on her. The crease between his brows deepened. He propped himself up on his elbow but quickly bowed his head back toward the new curves of her body. "Your mother is awake and I think she needs some comfort," he warned their baby before pressing his lips at the top of her stomach.

He crawled upward at her side to face her and the warmth of his hand left the gentle swell of her belly to cup the side of her face, his thumb sweeping the salty drops Cersei was trying to blink away. Jaime trailed sweet, smothering kisses from her jaw up her mouth that somehow helped to ease the tumult of her mind. Cersei deepened their kiss, her lips slightly parting to let him in, and her own hand reached the back of his neck to tug him closer. 

When her brother recoiled, their lungs pleading for air, his gaze met her teary eyes. "I thought you were asleep," he whispered, a sad grin dancing on his lips and concerns written all over his face.

"I was."

"Why are you crying, my love?"

"We should have left Westeros," Cersei swallowed.

Jaime frowned. "We did," he replied, the meaning of her words obviously lost to him.

"No, before," she sniffled. "We could have had this and our children…" Her words died in her throat at the mention of their children, another sob crashing over her, and her eyes watered again. "Our children would still be alive."

"You can't…" He shook his head. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

She had thought about that before. She had reflected on the witch's words since Pentos became their new home, more than she ever did in the past decades, and even with her best efforts to push them away, Cersei couldn't erase them from her memory. She had played and twisted them, over and over again, wondering if their unborn baby, that child the frog never mentioned, would be spared of such a fate. Each of his kicks always felt like a victory against it, soothing her worst fears, and made her clung to the hope that, here, her prophecy was as ashes as King's Landing, that she would soon birth a breathing, healthy child. And then, her mind would wander on their eldest children. She would imagine their beautiful faces slowly falling apart, their rosy skins turning grey, blistering and tearing off their bones, the gold of their hair vanishing, their lips bloating and their eyes poking out of their skulls until there was nothing left of them but dust and sorrow. And she would ask herself if putting a crown on their heads had been a mistake, if their lives had been the price to pay for it when she believed it would keep them safe from the vultures, wondering if running away would have saved them. " _Gold will be their crowns. And gold their shrouds_ ," the old woman had promised her. And the answer to her questions had always been " _Yes_ ".

"Listen, listen to me," Jaime urged. The desperation in his voice drew her to comply. "You don't know that," he said again, with more conviction this time than the first, and she locked her green eyes with his. "You don't. And I know you miss them and I wish they were here, with us, and if I could bring them back to you, I would. We can mourn them as long as you want but don't mourn a life that has never been ours. Don't torture yourself with those thoughts. We are still flesh and blood, you told me yourself, and we can still have this life here, now. Together." He grabbed her wrist and pulled a kiss, hard, over her knuckles before placing both their hands over where their child was kicking some minutes ago. "With this one."

And bit by bit, her twin's words sunk in her mind. They were enough to pacify her, enough to forget the frog's stupid prophecy for a time, and Cersei gulped. He was right. Biding herself in those thoughts wouldn't heal the cracks of her heart, only bring more pain. They could mourn their children, time could maybe ease their grief, and they could still grasp some kind of that happiness and freedom Pentos had granted them lately and Westeros never allowed. For them. And their baby.

The tears eventually faded and the little nod she gave him turned Jaime's worried features into a small smile. His forehead collapsed against hers after he sought her lips for a short kiss. They closed their eyes and Jaime's scent tickled her senses, strong and familiar, spices meld with musky essence. Cersei sighed.

They remained like that for a moment, their chests rising and falling in steady unison, dwelling on the comfort of the other while a peaceful silence surrounded them, until the little flutters inside her bounced one more time against their fingers and their room was filled with the sound of their laughter.

"We don't have a name," Cersei reminded him.

"We'll find one when _she_ 'll be here." 

_She._

Cersei couldn't say she was surprised by hearing her brother referring to their baby as " _she_ " or as " _our daughter_ " anymore. For weeks now, he had been trying to persuade her they were expecting a little girl and, each time they had argued over a name to pick from their family tree, he had mostly suggested feminine ones. Though, none of their choices were deemed fit for their child in the end. Oh, she could picture his future smile -the same as Jaime's- or the glee in his fiery eyes when he would squirm with joy but as much as she wanted to believe Jaime's intuition was right and indulge herself to think of their baby in such a way, she hadn't been able to yet. Unlike her previous pregnancies, her own instinct had been pretty quiet on the matter this time, almost as if her fears held that thought hostage from her imagination.  
  
"Still convinced it's a girl?" she asked. Jaime mumbled positively, and Cersei couldn't help but smirk at his expected answer. She partly envied him for this, for not worrying about old witch and scary words but his enthusiasm was also contagious and warmed her. "And what if you are wrong? For all we know, it could be a boy," she teased.

"I won't," Jaime replied. "And boy or girl, it doesn't matter anyway." No, it didn't. When the midwife would place their little cub between her waiting arms, Jaime by her side, nothing else would matter but the dearest sound of his first cry echoing in their house. "But it's a girl," he said, so sure of himself that another laugh forced its way out of her lips.

Deep down, Cersei had to admit she loved the image of this little girl Jaime was picturing and wished she could see it as well.

"You're right, it's a girl." She untangled her hand from his. Her fingers reached his chin, lazily tracing the shape of his triumphant smile and, remembering his own words before he found out she was awake, Cersei spoke again, "You'll be good at this. With our child."

Jaime winced. "No, I'm not sure,..." he began but she didn't let him finish. She pulled him closer to capture his lips and hoped her kiss would shut down his doubts.

"You will," she whispered once they parted. She refused to let him believe otherwise. When she noticed her twin would remain thoughtful on the matter, Cersei shifted on her side to face him. She tried to ignore the sharp pain in her lower back as they adjusted themselves in a more suitable position, a dance they had practiced many times before and knew by heart now. They mirrored each other with their legs tangled together beneath the sheets and her growing bump trapped between their two bodies, and Jaime's arm slipped around her waist. His good hand started to rub that burning spot between her hips. The slow and gentle circles he drew here thankfully lulled the soreness of her muscles away and Cersei let out a relieved moan. Her lips curled up in a fond smile. "She couldn't stop kicking when you were talking to her." 

"I'm not even sure she can hear me," Jaime chuckled. "It was ridiculous, I know."

"It wasn't. I think she liked it," Cersei affirmed. "And I did too," she added. "You should do it more often." She moved his hand back on her stomach and Jaime's face softened. "She is quiet now." 

"She is probably asleep."

Cersei hummed quietly. She probably was. They could use some rest too, until the morning came. Their days were still long and their nights too short. 

As she watched Jaime struggling to keep his eyes open, her smile grew wider. He eventually gave up and, despite her own slumber threatening to take her, Cersei kept staring at him. Her brother. Her husband, asleep by her side, a serene peace painting his perfect features while his thumb tenderly, protectively brushed the expanse of her skin, and the idea of this little girl, giggling at nothing and everything with his smile, running on the Pentoshi's shore, the sand warm and stuck between her toes, started to bubble in her own mind. She could see it too now, as her eyelids fluttered close. She could picture their baby girl, a sweet bundle with a wisp of golden hair on the crown of her head, nestled between Jaime's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the lyrics of "King of My Heart" by Taylor Swift.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the lyrics "All of you, all of me intertwined" from the song "Daylight" by Taylor Swift. Just twisted it a little bit.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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